Getting adjusted today took a weight off my shoulders. I have been so stressed/frustrated with work that exercise could only fix it so much. I came to realize I was eating like crap to help with the rest of my stress. I decided to try an called "my fitness pal" to start counting my food intake. I've learned I'm not eating enough protein and carbs, however it says I'm consuming too much sugar. I would have to disagree because it is all natural sugar from fruit, no desserts.
According to this app I will with 135 lbs if I keep exercising and eating the way I am in just 5 weeks. That's a 10 lb weight loss. It's hard for a overweight person to loose 10 lbs in a month! I have never worried about the scale, however I haven't weighed that amount since high school. I also know the chances to get that slim are impossible because I am lifting twice as much as I'm doing cardio.
Every time I live by myself I look forward to learning something new about myself. It's been a hard 10 months in Iowa and I've been frustrated because I've gone in and out of happiness. It's hard being away from family and friends, it's hard working a stressful job. I often wonder what I'm doing here and what I'll get out of this. I know professionally it was a smart move, but emotionally...
I had that ah ha moment the other night with my friend daphne. She is such an inspiration to me and like I've said before he introduced me to Tasha. These two women are going to be the ones that give me what I've been looking for this stage of my life- CONFIDENCE. It's not that I hate my body, I just know what I find attractive and what I think the person I am going to end up with would find attractive. I know physical attraction isn't everything, but it is A LOT. If I'm not confident I am not able to put myself out there in a relationship.
A second thing I've learned is that alcohol isn't everything. Once I hit college I began to drink heavily. When I would drink I'd drink to the point of blacking out. I did things I regret the next day. I was the party girl, and that is what my friends expect of me. When I went home before thanksgiving I met up with my college friends an they were worried about me for the reason I wasn't drinking that night.
Drinking isn't fun anymore. I love hour beer tastes, And i love that giddy feeling, however I don't love the headaches and being nauseous and sleeping like crap.
My journey in Iowa is to get me healthy and to get my confidence back. I need confidence not just for personal satisfaction and not just or a relationship, but also for work. I found it interesting to hear my boss say he wished I had more confidence.
So daphne and Tasha, thank you for making me realize my reason for Iowa.
I'm getting buff, healthy, and happy!
